It never fails. Time and again I've allowed this guide to take me on a tour. And time and again I've been disappointed. For the majority of the tours, I went in with this boisterous bravado, believing I was going down the right path. Believing the destination was a place I wanted to be. But for some I questioned signing up for the tour only to be coaxed into it by that guide called Ego.
Either way I went. The first part of each journey was nearly the same. Big talk, grandiose claims and promises of...promise. Some proclaimed exciting action and new things to experience. But each and every tour left me upset, irritated and longing for a different view.
Why? Why did I keep allowing Ego to take me places I never really liked?
Initially I didn't know his name. It took me decades to realize who was driving that bus, who was holding that microphone and who was sticking their hand up my ass and using me like a puppet.
Then one day I realized why I took those tours. I was ignorant (and maybe prideful). I never took the time to ask myself the hard questions afterwards. I would cast blame or point the finger elsewhere.
Guess what...I still take a tour now and then. It's more rare now but there are still times I get on that bus and allow Ego to drive. Man, what an idiot I feel like as soon as we get going down the road. Sure, I could jump off at a stop light. I could just tell him to stop the bus, maybe pull that little string signaling I wanted off. But I don't always do that.
I can't ever remember one of his tours ending up somewhere enjoyable. I'm better now for taking those tours. More aware of the outcome. Less desiring his advice and promises of sights to behold.
When Ego asks to drive that bus, kindly tell him/her "No thanks, you're a shitty guide!"